From "A Dictionary For Our Times"

Lardon (n): a porcine erection

On Voltaire and free speech

One of the aphorisms often attributed to Voltaire, albeit apocryphally, has him assert "I may disagree with what you say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it".

This is generally offered as evidence or how principled and high-minded he was: prepared to sacrifice his life for the rights of others; but I'm not convinced. Rousseau, maybe. He was loopy enough to say something like that and mean it literally... not to mention feckless enough to chicken out if it ever actually came down to the choice in question.

But Voltaire was a consummate pragmatist. If he had turned the phrase in question, I am pretty sure it would have had a second half:

"I may disagree with what you say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it... because it's the best clue we'll get as to whether or not you're a dangerous fool."

From "A Dictionary For Our Times"

footstool (n): something you tread in on the pavement

From "A Dictionary For Our Times"

Semantic web (n): a soulless contrivance in which unicorns, kittens and rainbows are ensnared and bludgeoned to a grey pulp.

From "A Dictionary For Our Times"

Sovereignty (n): the right to make your own stupid decisions, instead of collective stupid decisions.

From "A Dictionary For Our Times"

Addendum to the definition for slute :

"The Chieftains are easier to finger as the bottom hole is designed at a comfortable stretch. Many leading players use the Chieftains on stage." - "Hobgoblin Music" catalogue

In fairness to Hobgoblin, this was from the section on tin whistles. The tin whistle used, of course, to be known as a flageolet. That can't be explained by coincidence alone.

From "A Dictionary For Our Times"...

Dichotomy (n): a lesbian divorce